July 23, 2008
MidLife Grocery Shopping
by Kelly Jackson
How midlife grocery shopping differs:
The first thing I do is look for a parking space in the shade as close to the front door as is humanly possible. I have a handicap tag which I borrow from my ancient mother and I try very hard not to abuse it, but if it's raining, it's every handicapped for him/herself. I'm not above feigning a slight limp on my way in either, just in case I run into someone in a grocery scooter who is legally entitled to park in these spaces.
Next up is getting all germs and bacteria off the shopping cart handle before I touch it with bare hands. God knows how many small children have wiped their drooling, snotty, little noses and then asked Mommy if they could push the cart. And, I'm always appalled whenever I see an even smaller tot with its little bottom sitting in the front section of the cart which is so obviously constructed for women's' purses. I would never ever ever put any fresh produce, for example, in that section of the cart for fear of cross contamination from those little, diapered human butts.
No more endless chit chat when confronted by someone I either know or knew and haven't seen in years. These people always seem to turn up at the grocery store when I do. I have no idea why. It's manspeak for me, "Hi, Genie, great to see you, planning a party, gotta run. Ciao." They usually haven't spit out their own salutation before I've rounded the corner from aisle 4 to 5. No time, not interested, looking for important items.
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